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Why Do I Attract Losers and Liars?

Education Article: Why Do I Attract Losers and Liars?

Why do we attract the people that we attract into our lives.  Is it by chance?  Is it due to whimsy or fate? Is it because we unconsciously attract people who are supposed to appear in our lives and teach us the lessons that we are supposed to learn?  There are so many reasons why we attract the things and people that appear in our life.  In order to understand the attraction process, it is beneficial to review the Law of Attraction which is the basic universal law that operates in the universe.  We attract what we unconsciously attract because we match up with them initially with them when we first meet them.  Why do Princes turn into Frogs?  Why do lovers become liars?  Why do they promise us the moon and then moon us?  We attract people and things to us and as soon as we attract them, either you or they begin to try and change you into what they subconsciously want you to be even though that is not who you are.  You hear people ask this famous rhetorical question, "Why are all men the same?" or "Why are all women the same?"  It is because we attract people who fulfill our self fulfilling prophecies about ourselves and our life.  It happens all the time and, yet, no one seems to want to really change themselves so that they might attract someone or something that is new and different.  I have found that it is extremely easy to become a "loser" or a "liar" when you choose to spend your time with them.  My use of the terms "loser" and "liar" is not meant to be judgmental but rather it is intended to reflect patterns of behavior that people choose to adopt that bring them negative consequences in their lives.  There are so many patterns of negative self defeating behavior that we observe in others.  It seems that many of us are living a perpetual reality television show.  It is time to let go of the reality television show mentality and to find a new pattern of living that reflects a positive and forward moving mentality.

We most often use our subconscious mind when we choose people to have relationships with.  We do this because everything that we have learned and know is in our subconscious mind and it is the repository of our knowledge about relationships and what we have known in the past.  We most often re-create our past relationships in our present relationships which causes us to live out continuous patterns of unhappiness, unrequieted hopes and dreams that contribute to our living in the past and not in the present.  Around 40, most of us start to live part of our lives in the past and to build shrines in our minds about what once was and might still be again.  And yet, the outcome seems so predestined in our present relationships and we lament that we cannot find anyone who does not remind us of someone from our past.  What we have known is most often what we try and find again even if we were unhappy and unfulfilled in those past moments.  We may also live out unconscious patterns that we acquired from our parents that we do not know that we have internalized.  We marry alcoholics, mental and emotional abusers and distant people to unconsciously re-create what our parents knew and had.  We may wind up turning out like they did with the same patterns of unhappiness, guilt, loss, regret and shame.  We wonder why it happened and yet we were programmed from childhood to just that.  We can change these patterns if we consciously make the effort to do so but it takes outside help and assistance not to do it over and over again.

We can choose to alter the future and to acquire new patterns of coping and living that can propel us towards a different destiny and outcome in our lives.  It takes courage to break out of our patterns and to build a new reality based upon possibility and hope and different actions, beliefs and possibilities.  We can choose to live out the remainder of our lives in happiness and contentment when we choose to change and become that which we merely dream about today.  We can re-write our patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors through conscious belief, intention and action.  I am reminded of the line from a famous soap opera, "Like the sands of an hour glass, these are the days of our lives".  You can decide today to change your present life and your future by calling me at 281-444-2678.
Who do we live our lives for?  Is it God? Is it our parents? Is it our grandparents? Is it ourselves? Is it some idealized belief system?  Who are you living for and who is in charge of you?  We tend to blame others for our defeats and give others the credit for our victories.  It is time to take personal responsibility and to claim all of your personal attributes and behaviors so that you can learn to love and care about yourself.  As the pastor Joel Osteen has said, "You can be a Victim or a Victor".  It feels good to be in charge of your life and to turn your life around and to find the happiness and joy you are seeking.

We each have the capacity to overcome the limits that exist in our lives.  This capacity to change comes from our inspiration, our spirituality, our new and positive actions, our modified positive beliefs and our intentions to obtain what we desire.  We have to stop living the reality that others create for us and we have to co-create a new reality that is based on our hopes, dreams, ambitions and possibilities.  You can learn and grow and change your unconscious patterns and attract positive and loving people into your life.

John Garlock, Ph.D.

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