Men's needs vary from women's needs in a variety of ways. In his ground breaking book, Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus, Dr. John Gray proved that men and women are different and have differing needs in relationships. Understanding these differences can prevent future problems from happening and can prevent a lot of heart ache and misunderstanding. Men want to be appreciated for what they do and do not need to be listened to in the same way that women need to be listened to. A man will go the extra mile for a woman who appreciates his efforts and who will make his favorite pie or buy his favorite ice cream flavor just because it is the one that he likes. There is an old saying that goes like this: "You can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar" which means that a little sweetness from a woman can get a man to want to do what his woman would like for him to do. It is also important to ask a man to do something rather than telling him what he has to do. We all have bosses that we have to answer to all day so we do not want an extra boss when we come home. Men also can have selective hearing when it comes to things like chores, honey do's and things that have needed fixing for awhile. A little bit of attention can go a long way when it comes to getting a mule to start plowing and it is no different with men.
Here are some simple steps to follow when you are trying to get a man's attention and to motivate him and to make him happy: 1. Kindness and gentleness go a long way when you are relating to your man;
2. When he does anything to help you, please tell him you appreciate his help and repeat it as often as needed;
3. Show him how he can succeed with you and reward any actions that he takes that are positive and indicate that he cares and is interested in you;
4. A peck on the cheek or a pat on the shoulder means more to him than a "thank you";
5. Never compare him to someone else or criticize him because he will remember those words the rest of his life long after they have been spoken;
6. If you praise him, he will try and please you more and these words will be remembered a life time;
7. Cut back on your desire to control the relationship and let him control half of the relationship which will reinforce his being a man both at home and in the world;
8. Let him know that he succeeds in your eyes or else another woman will eye your man and do it for you;
9. Do not replace him with one of your children because your children will grow up and leave and the two of you will still be there (spousal replacement);
10. Remember that no one can make you happy and vice versa so you will need to work on yourself and learn and grow and engage in self improvement; 11. Remember there is no perfect man or woman and that each of you will make mistakes that will require forgiveness if the relationship is to continue.
Having a happy and content relationship takes work on the part of both the man and the woman. It is important to remember that relationships require maintenance like cars and trucks do and investing time in your relationship will prevent costly repairs and break downs that will interfere with the commitment and intimacy in your relationship. There is a commercial for an oil filter that was on television and it said, "You can pay me now or you can pay me later". Invest in your relationship now before costly repairs are made.
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